Top Ten Tips - Meeting A Significant Other’s Family
By Tip Diva | Jul 28, 2008
Categories: Activities, Adult, Behavior, Clothes, Clothing, Conversation, Difficulty, Drinking, Etiquette, Family, Food, Gifts, Hobbies, Love, Manners, Men, Personality, Relationships, Restaurants, Stories, Tips, Women
Meeting your boyfriend or girlfriend’s family can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially if you see yourself becoming part of that family in the future. Here are ways to survive your first family encounter:
- Try And Start Small - Before diving head first into the family reunion, try and start small, perhaps by meeting your significant other’s parents or siblings first.
- Dress Appropriately - Whether it’s dinner at the parents’ house, a fancy restaurant or casual barbeque, make sure to dress the part. Leave anything that can be considered risqué or rude, like your short-shorts or t-shirt with expletive phrases, home. When in doubt, just ask your significant other how to dress.
- Be Yourself - Don’t reinvent yourself to impress the family - they can sniff a phony from a mile away. You can tone yourself down by leaving stories about your college drinking days home, but don’t pretend to like golf just because the family is fond of the green.
- Mind Your Manners - Make sure you ask your significant other how to address his parents. If you don’t know, “Mrs. and Mr.” are perfectly acceptable, and if they don’t want to be formal, they’ll say, “Just call us Mary and Bob.” Never call a person by a nickname if you don’t know for sure if he or she uses that nickname. Always say “please” and “thank you,” pitch in and always ask before using something. Use good table manners and watch how much you drink.
- Learn About The Family First - Learn things about the family before meeting them - like what their jobs are, what movies they like, what their hobbies are and their quirks. These factoids help in forming topics to talk about or what to expect in terms of their behavior.
- Bring A Gift - If you’re going to the family’s house, bring a small gift like a cake or a bottle of wine.
- Arm Yourself With Icebreakers - Read the day’s headlines, learn a few jokes (not dirty or rude!) and have some compliments handy. They’ll break the ice and help start the conversation.
- Stay Away From Inflammatory Topics - Avoid talking about religion, politics and other inflammatory topics that may cause heated debate and discussion. Remember to ask your significant other about what others topics to avoid - for instance, you may not want to ask his father about his job, because he just laid off.
- Be Prepared For The Inquisition - The family will ask you about yourself, your interests, your tastes and your family. Be prepared to answer truthfully, even if you have to tone down the answer. For instance, if the mother asks you about your job, and you absolutely hate your job, don’t say, “My job stinks, I hate my boss, and I can’t wait to leave,” say, “I’m in communications, but I’m looking to advance my career elsewhere.” You don’t want to be perceived as a negative, hateful person. Develop a sign with your significant other - for instance, a kick on ankle or elbow touch - to diffuse potentially embarrassing or uncomfortable questions. He or she could say, “Well, why don’t you ask about this instead?”
- Ask Your Own Questions - Don’t be afraid to ask your own questions. Ask questions from what you’ve learned about the family. Ask questions related to the questions they ask you. It will show you’re interested.
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