Tip Dude hates cell phones. And BlackBerries. Blue(teeth?) are even worse. They’re very helpful devices for people who feel the need to yak and e-mail constantly to the annoyance of everyone around them. If you’re not one of them, but still like to stay in touch with your family and friends, here are some tips that you might find helpful.

• Get Broadband Internet - Modems are so 1980s. Do you remember the days of 1,200 baud modems and electronic bulletin boards? Yes, it is like typing in glue. Do yourself a favor and get high-speed internet. It is affordable now, usually about $30-$50 a month, and there’s a variety of technology to choose from, like DSL and cable. Even if you never watch video online and rarely surf the Web, you’ll be glad that it doesn’t take you 20 minutes to log into your bank’s e-commerce site to check your account balance.
• Disconnect Your Telephone - When was the last time someone called you on the real Bakerlite phone? What’s more, when was the last time you called someone on a real phone without having to first look up their phone number? Do you even have a long distance or international telephone plan? Yes, we all need to talk to faraway relatives, but once you have a broadband Internet connection, there are so many more ways to talk for less!
• Use Voice Over IP - Voice Over IP is a decade-old technology that uses computer power to convert your voice into digital data that could be sent over the Internet, in real time, to someone else who has the same software and an Internet connection. Basically, it’s a phone. Telemarketers have been using it for years. To use it, you buy a USB phone that plugs into your computer. You open the phone software, and then double-click on someone you want to call (or dial a phone number). Then, their computer rings. Or if you’re calling a phone, their phone rings. The voice quality is usually as good as phones, and you only have to pay a flat fee per month. There’s usually no per-minute charge for calling people using VoIP. Two major VoIP providers in the U.S. are Skype and Vonage. Try them out and see how you like having a computer that rings.
• Be Aware of Limitations of VoIP - With Vonage, the service really does work like a phone, so they charge phone company kind of fees - about $24 a month or so. You also get that annoying telephone bill. Skype, although it behaves like a phone, is not a phone, so the fees are lower - about $60 a year or less. You can get a phone number, unlimited calls to all U.S. and Canadian phones and a voicemail box - but you do have to keep your computer constantly powered on for it to ring when someone calls you. If you’re calling a phone abroad, it does cost a few cents per minute.
• Use Pay-Per-Minute Cell Phones - Cell phones are good for emergency use. Real emergencies, like someone is getting stabbed or your car got towed. Not fake emergencies, like your getting locked out of your apartment or calling your hairdresser because you’re going to be five minutes late for your hair-do. RadioShack carries TracFones, which is a nationwide pay-per-minute cell provider. The cost is 10 cents per minute, and you must buy 200 minutes ($20) every 90 days for continued service. If you use your cell phone only for true emergencies, and not to chat on, then that’s plenty of minutes. Even Tip Dude could afford a $6.67-per-month cell phone. If you need to chat, use your VoIP phone, or stay late and use the phone at the office. If someone calls you on your cell, call them back with your VoIP phone.
• Ditch Your Contract Cell Phone - So, your cell phone bill could be as low as $6.67 a month. Why pay AT&T, Verizon, Nextel, or Sprint between $360 and $960 a year for the privilege of having them collect money from you every month and charge you for overage minutes? Cell phones shouldn’t be contract-based. How would you like it if some gas station offered you 60 free gallons of gasoline every month but you had to sign up for a one year contract that commits you to paying $200 each month?
• Use Text Messages - To avoid burning minutes on your pay-per-minute cell phone, use text messages. If you’re going to be late and a friend is waiting for you, all you actually need to do is to text them the expected time of arrival and the reason for your delay. There is no need to have a long conversation about how your car stalled in the snow and you had to take a bus and so you missed your flight. Your friend probably doesn’t care. He/she just wants to know when you’ll arrive so they can do other things while they’re waiting. Besides, it makes a more interesting story if you can tell them your travel delay story in person, after you arrive. Text messages are approximately $0.03-$0.05 per message on these pay-per-minute cell phones. Some providers have free incoming text messages and only charge you for outgoing ones.
• Use Instant Messaging Services - These services basically work like mini-text messages that you type while sitting at a computer. If you’ve never used them by now, you probably don’t like them. But they are a useful and cheap way to stay in touch. The best part is that you can have several conversations at the same time with multiple people, all the while multitask and surf the web or pay your bills. The main provider in this arena is AOL Instant Messenger (IM). Others include Yahoo! Messenger and MSN Messenger. Some cell phones will also support IM, but be aware that with a cell provider there will probably be a per-message charge, which can easily multiply if you’re trying to have an IM conversation using a cell phone.
• Know Your Free Wi-Fi Hotspots - More and more people are putting password security on their home wireless networks. Wi-Fi hotspot providers are getting crafty. They’re doing these dumb contract things just like cell providers are. Don’t pay for one of these, it’s not worth it. You need to know which independent friendly cafes, hotels, and other public places like bus terminals and airports have free Wi-Fi hotspots. In New York City, for example, all the city parks have city-paid, public access Wi-Fi. San Francisco, CA and Brookline, MA are rumored to have them all over the city. Get yourself an iPod Touch (or other ultraportable tablet computer with Wi-Fi capability) and use that in place of a Blackberry. You can still compose e-mail off line while you’re in the subway. Just understand that e-mails you’ve composed won’t send until you hit a Wi-Fi hotspot and hit the “Send-Receive” button.
• Slow Down Your Pace of Life - There is nothing nicer than dropping in on a friend or stopping in the corridor to chat with coworkers. Make lunch plans. Have dinner. Make time for face-to-face conversations. Remember that there was a way to live before Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. He would probably be shocked and horrified to see many people with his invention glued to the ears, and order all telephones destroyed!

Tip Dude has for his communications needs:

• Broadband Internet - Time Warner Cable right now, but have used Comcast and Verizon DSL - all were satisfactory
• Skype - SkypeOut Unlimited Plan with SkypeIn (phone number)
• TracFone - The $17.95 Motorola handset
• GMail - For email
• Quarters - For the Payphone
• Apple Powerbook G4 with Wireless - For those pesky hot-spots
• No land phone
• No contract cell phone
• No contract wireless hotspot provider
• No Blueberry
• No Blacktooth
• No phone ring, no stress

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